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Should I watch for symptoms of depression if my loved one has dementia?

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March 7, 2012

- Alzheimer's Care, Blog, Elder Law Articles

You’ll typically notice depression in someone before the person with it does. Some signs to watch for include: desire to sleep a lot, a change in eating habits (weight up or down), loss of interest in previously enjoyed activities, and being in an overall “down” mood.   Attend to comments such as “I don’t want anything,” “I’m no good anymore” and “I wish I were dead” and take them seriously. Any time you detect symptoms of depression it is important to have the person visit a physician. Even if a doctor has already diagnosed dementia, your loved one still needs to be checked for depression. The two go together quite a bit. It might take antidepressants just a few weeks to ease the symptoms. Other things that can make a big difference include better nutrition, better sleep (not too much or too little) and plenty of exercise. For further information, please access our FREE  “Indispensable Alzheimer’s Resource Kit” by clicking here.  
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How aggressive should we be with treatment for recurring colon cancer if my father also has Alzheimer’s?

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March 1, 2012

- Alzheimer's Care, Blog, Elder Law Articles

A family meeting with the oncologist to learn about the cancer would help all of you get on the same page. This is a very difficult situation. The oncologist can answer your specific questions about the nature of the cancer, treatment options, prognosis, etc. You most likely won’t want to be too invasive or aggressive with the cancer treatment. Confusion will increase with any type of operation or aggressive treatment. Be sure you know the risks involved if surgery is deemed necessary. As part of this scenario, your physician can order hospice care. Hospice services not only help the loved one but also the family as a whole. Hospice specialists will take the Alzheimer’s into consideration, too. Hospice is a wonderful form of care that provides education, support and care. The goal of hospice is to make it possible for your loved one to stay in his or her own home, out of the hospital, and also to make it as comfortable and pain-free as possible. The overall goal is to create the best quality of life possible. One of the best things about hospice is the fact that it helps not only the patient but family members as well. For further information, please access our FREE  “Indispensable Alzheimer’s Resource Kit” by clicking here.
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Should you tell someone with Alzheimer’s that a close friend has died?

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February 29, 2012

- Alzheimer's Care, Blog, Elder Law Articles

This has been the subject of open debate for a while. The short answer is: It really depends on the person. If it’s your loved one involved, you know him or her better than anyone. If you think he or she can handle it, then the answer is you probably should share news of the friend’s death. Important considerations include thinking how the news will affect your loved one and whether there will be any benefit to it. You also have to consider how well your loved handles stressful situations. If the deceased is someone your loved one has seen regularly, then it might be best to share the news. After that, you are still likely to be asked about the person’s whereabouts, due to short-term memory loss. Then, you have to ask yourself if it’s worth it to keep repeating news of the death or if it’s time to exercise the right to use “therapeutic fibs.” These are always used to protect the person with dementia. See how it goes after you tell your loved one about the death and take it from there. If questions persist about the deceased, you can (honestly) say that the person just “isn’t here right now.” Or you can say in an assuring tone that although you’re not sure where the person is, you are sure he or she is OK and in a safe place. Whether or not to talk about a death also depends on how far Alzheimer’s has progressed. With later stage dementia, it probably isn’t beneficial. Regardless of the stage, if your loved one wasn’t particularly close to or frequently around the deceased, it might not be to your benefit to raise the subject. The same thought process comes into play if your loved one inquires about his or her parents. Even if the parents have died long ago, your loved one’s long-term memory might be kicking in, bringing them more prominently to mind. Validation is the best strategy to use when this happens. Say, “I know your parents aren’t here now and you miss them, but they are OK and they know where you are.” Then, you can reminisce. For more information about communicating with a loved one with dementia, please click here to listen to a Jo Huey speak on this very delicate subject.  It is a very informative discussion available free as an mp3.
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Does Alzheimer’s disease ever bring positive personality changes?

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February 27, 2012

- Alzheimer's Care, Blog, Elder Law Articles

Yes, it can — but probably not the way you think, or may be hoping for. What Alzheimer’s can do is essentially erase bad behaviors or attitudes, which fall by the wayside as memory and decision-making abilities fade. When something like alcoholism, bipolar disorder or schizophrenia is present before the onset of Alzheimer’s, it “goes away” as the disease progresses. This has led some people who have loved ones with Alzheimer’s to say dementia or Alzheimer’s has “blessed” the person. If the victim was abusive or harsh beforehand, he or she might become happy, loving and docile afterward. Sometimes the families can joke about having a support group for people who are happy about Alzheimer’s. One man had an alcoholic wife for most of their 50 years together. This included the rearing of six children. As Alzheimer’s symptoms started to take more and more control of her mind, she forgot to drink and became more loving and soft-spoken. It was as if the dementia had brought out the best of her. She showed sides of herself that close friends and relatives had not seen in many years. Her children liked visiting, and she was kind to them. She also showed a good sense of humor. Often, her husband said those years were some of the happiest times of their married lives. In some ways, he was grateful for the dementia that claimed his wife’s mind. He went as far as to suggest that the disease had given him and his wife a second chance to live together happily. She stayed in their home, and he was her primary caregiver until her death. Alzheimer’s is a tragic disease, but sometimes it brings blessings.  For more information, check out our Indispensable Alzheimer’s Resource Guide which is available FREE online by clicking here
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Does medication cause the confusion and unsteadiness found with Alzheimer’s or are they just part of the disease’s progression?

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February 23, 2012

- Alzheimer's Care, Blog, Elder Law Articles

The short answer is both the disease’s progression and medication can be responsible for confusion and/or unsteadiness in Alzheimer’s patients. Since Alzheimer’s is a neurological disorder, it causes confusion; it also can affect a person’s ability to move around, or ambulate. Alzheimer’s effects on the brain can cause a person to have difficulty with perception, which in turn can affect how a person walks. Black strips in carpeting may appear to be an opening in the floor or something else that needs to be stepped over. A shiny floor might give the impression it’s wet. Perceptions like these understandably can cause unsteadiness. Unfortunately, medicines’ side effects also can cause unsteadiness or confusion. That’s why family members and close friends are so important. As firsthand observers of a person’s behavior, they can notice changes easier than others. It is particularly important to watch for side effects right after a new medication or dosage has been introduced. Any sudden change in behavior most likely will be due to medication because Alzheimer’s typically does not progress quickly enough to create such changes. Ask your pharmacist or visit the website of a specific medication (e.g. www.namenda.com) to learn about possible side effects. These websites have a lot of useful information. Keep in mind that there also could be physical difficulties that arise that have nothing to do with the Alzheimer’s or any medication. Difficulty walking or any sudden confusion could be caused by an infection or another source of pain. Careful observation followed by some “detective” work will help discern what’s going on. It’s not uncommon for this to become second nature. You might not even realize you’re taking these steps after a while. Always remember, though, that if you have investigated and tried various options and nothing seems to work, symptoms such as confusion or unsteadiness could just be part of the disease’s natural, unrelenting progress. To help cope with caring for someone with Alzheimer’s, you might want to obtain a copy of this free resource, The Indispensable Alzheimer’s Resource Kit.    
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What can I do to my mother’s environment to lessen her agitation?

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February 21, 2012

- Alzheimer's Care, Blog, Elder Law Articles

Human behavior is greatly affected by one’s environment. Therefore, you must pay special notice to what goes on in the surroundings of a person who has dementia. That person is liable to have heightened chances of feeling fear or insecurity so he or she needs to feel safe to minimize them. Because there are so many environmental aspects that can cause worsened confusion or agitation, a continual assessment of the overall environment can help prevent agitation. A few examples of potential trouble areas include:
  • Temperature (too hot or too cold)
  • Noise (too loud or too much
  • Lighting (too bright or too dim)
  • Walkways/hallways (too cluttered)
  • People (whether they’re comfortable around them)
Look for patterns associated with typical sources of agitation, including: bathing, activities or events such as children visiting, and time of day. Address the specific issue as soon as you denote a pattern. It might mean changing visiting or showering times. While these issues might seem relatively insignificant to you or most people, they can be a HUGE issue to your loved one. Therefore, try to set up environments that are laid back and can help ease agitation. What is best? Whatever works for your loved one. Some examples of calming effects are:
  • Playing a favorite kind of video or music
  • Sititng in front of a fireplace
  • White noise, such as a fan or other motor hum
  • Getting fresh outside air
  • Burning fragrant candles or incense
  • Bird watching
  • Anything else that is known to decrease agitation for your loved one
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I want to better understand my loved one’s agitation but don’t know how

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February 9, 2012

- Alzheimer's Care, Blog, Elder Law Articles

We must make an effort to try to determine what a person with dementia is trying to communicate when he or she displays agitation or other “symptoms.” Many professionals who work with dementia patients think that there is a cause of reason to every behavior. “If we spent as much time trying to understand behavior as we spend trying to manage and control it we might discover what lies behind it is a genuine attempt to communicate,” is how Malcolm Goldsmith of the UK Journal of Dementia Care put it. People with dementia must continue to be viewed as individuals — as people who continue to need to be heard and have feelings. Whoever we are, often we find the source of anger or agitation stems simply from not being heard. Everyone needs to have his or her feelings validated and/or understood. Insensitive or uncaring responses can alienate or agitate anyone. If, for example, a trusted friend is told about a sensitive issue that made you cry and responds with, “Why should that make you cry?” you will not feel as if you’re being truly heard. Your feelings certainly won’t feel validated. A better response from your friend would be something like, “I’m sorry you’re upset. Would you like to talk more about the situation?” Even though your friend’s feelings might differ from yours  — you might not become upset about the same things — she can still validate you. Take another example of validation, using an upset child. The child might tell his parents that he is being picked on at school. If the parents shrug it off or treats the subject too lightly, the child won’t feel as if he’s been heard, understood or validated. However, if a parent responds with, “That really upsets me, too” and asks to talk the problem out so “we” can make things feel better, the child’s feelings will be validated. The end result is the child will feel better about himself. This is critical. A parent might not view the situation at school with the same alarm or concern as the child, but that doesn’t change the importance to the child. It’s very important to remember that, in order to determine if the issue needs to be address, we must LISTEN. This is no less true with a person with dementia. He or she needs to be heard and genuinely validated, just like anyone else. His or her experience might not seem like such a big deal to us, but it might be to him or her. That is a critical aspect to remember. Many every day tasks can become difficult or overwhelming to people with dementia. They can start to feel unsure, inadequate, and even fearful as anxiety builds. Such people need to feel supported and the love that any of us need to get through difficult days. Be generous with lines such as: “You did a good job,” “Thank you for your help!” “You are a wonderful person” “You are in a safe place,” and “I love you.” Affirming statements such as these can boost self-esteem and give a person validation. What you say to them might quickly be forgotten, but the good feeling may last. Validate feelings, affirm often and genuinely listen.
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Do I tell my loved one she has Alzheimer’s disease — and how do I prepare the rest of the family for what is then in store?

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February 1, 2012

- Alzheimer's Care, Blog, Elder Law Articles, Estate Planning

This is one of those topics that has been debated by experts for years. Some feel that anyone diagnosed with Alzheimer’s should be told, while others think they should be spared the knowledge. What it comes down to is this: What do you think will be best for your loved one? Some people will go into a tailspin and become severely depressed. Others might take it more in stride. Would your loved one want to know, to help her cope? Keep in mind, if you don’t speak up, someone else is liable to slip and that would be devastating. If there is a good doctor-patient relationship, it is best to let the doctor relay the information in a somewhat matter-of-fact way. A family member, however, should be with your loved one when the physician talks with her. Then, after the doctor broaches the subject, you have an opening to call other family members and let them know. A family meeting is a good idea. Having the diagnosis out in the open is usually liberating and helpful for everyone involved. At this family meeting, you can begin brainstorming about what you want to do next. Getting an Alzheimer’s patient’s financial and legal affairs is a very important step early on. One very helpful resource is this free pamphlet on estate planning “Don’t Lose Your Wallet! The Indispensable Guide to Estate Planning.” Sometimes tension arises among family members when these topics are discussed. Whatever you do, keep in mind that extra pressure is not a good thing for your loved one. You should arrange a time when you can meet without him or her present so you can talk openly with family members without upsetting him or her. If it comes to needing a mediator, then get one. This is the time to act like responsible adults and do what is right for your loved one, nothing else. Allow the individual — and yourself and family members — to grieve. Alzheimer’s can be devastating to not only the patient but also family members and other loved ones. It’s important for everyone to take care of each other and offer support. No one should be hesitant about joining a support group. It helps to be with others in a like situation. There should be one or more support groups nearby for early-stage Alzheimer’s patients. Have your loved one get involved with one of them. It’s important for Alzheimer’s patients to have a forum to express themselves to others in similar situations. (This is true for many emotional conditions and situations.) If anybody is still having a lot of difficulty coping after trying out a support group, have them consult a professional counselor. It’s vital that you support one another. Teamwork will take you farther than working alone. Let go of circumstances you can’t control. Choose your battles wisely. And, as odd as it might sound, always try to keep a good sense of humor.
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