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Extreme agitation is typically the source of aggression. If the agitation is under control, the aggression should lessen, if not stop altogether. If you believe the nursing home’s staff members did not handle this the best way possible, you can meet with the facility’s director of nursing and the care-plan team to discuss the situation. If that doesn’t bring satisfaction, you can take it further, to the state’s long-term care ombudsman program. Ombudsmen are trained volunteers who, upon request, advocate for nursing home residents and their families when there are problems with a facility. If you are confident that staff members did all they could, your father needs to be assessed. Outbursts of aggression are not only difficult on the people around the Alzheimer’s patient, but also on the individual himself or herself. There is little quality to life when one is agitated all the time. There are various good assessment programs throughout the country. You can learn about some at the Alzheimer’s Association website (www.alz.org). Look for a program near your area. One good thing about an inpatient assessment is the 24-hour-a-day observation. Its value is evident because there can be additions, deletions or changes to medications — and observation of any effects of these changes. You could learn that his medication is causing his agitation. Be sure to keep his doctor informed of what you’re doing and what is happening. When he is being assessed, you have an excellent opportunity to meet with discharge coordinators or social workers. They can help you find the right facility. They may not recommend any one facility but they can give you guidance. Another thing to remember is that environment can play a huge role in how comfortable a person is. If your father is not comfortable where he is, a move might be the best idea for him. Even though moving a person with Alzheimer’s can create confusion and possibly setbacks, the odds are he will recover. Your father needs an environment that feels loving and accepting to him. Staff members are usually the key in this regard. So if/when you wind up looking for another nursing home, be sure to meet staff and observe their interaction with residents. Additionally, if your father didn’t live on an Alzheimer’s unit before, look for one now. Their staff members are specially trained to deal with symptoms and issues that accompany Alzheimer’s.    
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If it’s done well — with proper staffing and development — it can be very beneficial. The idea of the dementia care unit is to provide specialized care, which includes trained staff for dementia, smaller units to soothe residents’ feelings and a locked area that will be safe for those who wander or pace relentlessly. The last two are symptoms that most Alzheimer’s patients experience at one time or another. Dementia units do not try to stop it from happening but rather aim to contain it to a safe environment. If your mother lived in an open facility — not a specialized unit— she might become more confused. Many such facilities are larger, have wide open spaces and high ceilings, and a lot more people coming and going. Those conditions are virtually eliminated in a special care unit. Dementia units raise the level of care while lowering the levels of stimulation. Many have done away with overhead intercoms since they can cause serious confusion or agitation for residents. The standard for Alzheimer’s care in most facilities is that the special unit has its own activities director. Often, direct care staff also are trained specially to participate in resident activities, which are specifically geared to the residents’ needs. For more information on special Alzheimer’s care facilities in your area, contact your state’s Department on Aging. It can give you a list of units or tell you where you can find one. If you have the option, visit at least three of these units in your area before making a choice. As always when visiting a potential home for a loved one, take someone you know and respect who preferably isn’t in the family. That way you can get a more objective view of what’s going on. Meet the staff and observe how they treat the residents, and how the residents respond. It’s not unusual for a facility to have a few deficiencies, but how serious were they and have they been corrected in a timely manner? You need to know these things. When you make a decision about a facility for a loved one, listen to your gut feeling. It is often a very accurate way to gauge. You still need to take stock of basic needs and questions; talking with the person who accompanied you on your visit will help sort things out. Then you can make a rational decision that everyone can live with more comfortably. For more information regarding Alzheimer’s, click here.
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States use different names for residences like these, which may have four or five people each. In some states, they are referred to as boarding-care homes. Some states license them and some do not. You should call your state’s facility licensing agency and ask. You also can inquire about getting a list of them. Look for homes like this, which are specifically designed to help people with Alzheimer’s or other dementia. Typically, staff there will be specially trained to work with such individuals, and keep everyone safe. If there isn’t a facility like this near your home, you might want to reconsider pursuing such living arrangements. One of the considerations for this type of living arrangement is whether your loved one can live out the rest of his or her life there. What happens if he or she runs out of money? Does the place accept Medicaid? Can he or she stay if she becomes bedridden, needs incontinence care or needs a wheelchair? With regard to dementia care, sometimes the smaller homes are ideal because they feel more like home, not an institution. The facility manager can keep a closer eye on things, though the appropriate employees still need to be hired and trained. Smaller homes like these typically have staff members cross-trained; they might be personal care assistants, as well as cooks and cleaners. You’ll want to observe at any home like this you may be considering whether residents have a daily schedule and routine. Some tasks might need to be modified to take an individual’s level of functioning into consideration. But by and large, residents can assist with things such as preparing meals, setting the table, folding clothes and towels, sweeping the floor, watering plants, helping in the yard, taking out the trash, and numerous other tasks. Allowing residents to help with daily chores makes it feel more like a family environment for everyone. This will be a community of its own for your loved one. It should be a place where he or she will make friends and have other caring individuals around.  For more information about Alzheimer’s click here.
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There are several ways you can handle this situation. Of course, it is very important she takes her medications as prescribed. Otherwise, there can be multiple problems for her, physically or mentally, and ultimately for those around her as well. How you tackle meeting her needs will depend on how much medication she takes, how often she takes it and also her ability to sort things out. If she just needs reminders but is otherwise capable of taking them herself, you can buy any of the various reminder systems available at a drug store or other retail outlet. These can be as simple as pillboxes with compartments for each day of the week. Then, you can just call at the beginning of the week to make sure she has things set up properly — and make sure she starts taking them appropriately, too. If necessary, you might have a visiting nurse or even a friend stop in and fill the compartments. There are also systems with alarms that will issue reminders about when to take meds. You will have to decide which is best for her, depending on her functioning level, possible level of confusion and other ability gauges. If having yourself or someone else phone her and reminder to take her medications at the appropriate times isn’t working, you definitely need to hire or appoint someone to do it in person. Adult day centers also can help with medications. If the center has a nurse, that person can assist with drug administration, should your mother need it. If this is the case, you are required to take the medication(s) in original packaging, with the doctor’s order on the container. This attention to her care will help her stay in her home longer.    
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Yes. Many people are happier at a nursing facility, for a variety of reasons. First of all, nursing home residents have decreased feelings of intimidation because they are surrounded by others who similarly have decreasing abilities. Also, the intimidation of being in one’s own home but being far less able is taken away. Some view a nursing home like a specialized college dormitory. Each resident has his or her own living space, plus access to common living areas. There are good opportunities for social interaction in places such as the dining room or TV lounge. Even individuals who were not particularly social earlier in life usually enjoy socialization at this point. A good eldercare facility also offers daily activities. There typically is enough variety to have something that meets the needs of almost everyone. There can be group activities such as bingo or book clubs. There might be reading or jigsaw puzzles that can be made. If a favorite activity is not offered, a facility often will make an attempt to add it, as long as staff members know there is interest in it. Throughout, residents are monitored by nurses and nurse aides. Another plus is that a facility doctor is available, at least by phone, to answer questions and write orders as needed on a personalized basis. Realize that once someone enters a nursing home, he or she may still leave for short trips or overnight stays with family or friends. If there is dissatisfaction with a certain facility, a transfer to another facility is always a possibility. It’s you and your loved one’s choice — always. Being in a nursing home also can increase feelings of independence for an individual. How? A nursing home is a safe, secure place with care around the clock, good hot meals, socialization aspects usually not found at home, and activities available all day. Residents who might have felt they were a burden to their families can find some sense of comfort and satisfaction that they can live “on their own” and not be such a strain on their loved ones.  
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Be aware that you can narrow your choices by location and by whether they offer specialties such as Alzheimer’s and dementia care — at both assisted living and skilled nursing facilities. You can get a list of facilities from the Alzheimer’s Resource Center, Alzheimer’s Association, Area Agency on Aging or various telephone directories. Check out facilities that interested you in your area before your family needs one so you can make a decision under less stress. Take notes on several facilities so you can comparison shop because that is exactly what you’re doing: scouting out some of the most important services you may ever need. Make a few visits, and make them at different times of the day. Take someone you trust with, preferably not a family member, as this type of person will be more objective and see things in a different light. Gauge the atmosphere of the facility. Is it warm and inviting? Does it pass the “smell test”? How do staff members interact with residents? Are they treated with respect? Are they attended to promptly? Is the facility clean, both inside and out? Are there secure outdoor areas intended for resident use? Is administrative staff available? Does it seem like a friendly facility? Ask for at least three names and phone numbers of families you can talk to who currently have a resident at the facility. Ask around in the community about the reputation of the facility. Any nursing home you visit must have readily available the results of its last state survey (inspection) so don’t be afraid to ask to see them. Or check out the Nursing Home Compare website that the government publishes precisely for this use. Once your loved one is admitted, your responsibility for checking out a facility is not over. You can stay as involved as you want, and you should keep as prominent of a presence as you wish. Research has shown that proximity is the top reason most families choose a certain facility. This means visits should be convenient, and possible for other family members and friends. Use visits — by any others — to serve as check-ups on living conditions for your loved one. Although there are more and more Alzheimer’s-specific facilities opening, it is not uncommon for them to have waiting lists. It can be months before a spot opens up, so if you’re at all inclined, go ahead and put your loved one’s name on a waiting list. If you are called about a vacancy and aren’t ready for the move yet, tell them. They are usually more than willing to put you back on the list, farther down, and they will call again. For more information regarding Alzheimer’s, you can click here to view the Alzheimer’s Resource Kit.
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The top desire of most people — Alzheimer’s patients or not — is to keep a loved one at home for as long as possible. Each caregiver and each person has a different threshold for what he or she can deal with (and survive with) at home. For example, if incontinence is involved and a person can’t go to the bathroom on his or her own, a caregiver might think it is almost automatic that nursing home placement is necessary. Other issues involving “activities of daily living,” such as eating, dressing and wandering, or behavior or wandering issues, might worry caregivers, too. Sometimes caregivers think they have reached their limit but then realize things aren’t as bad as they first think. This is often the case if they have taken steps beforehand to pre-arrange help. Being prepared and pro-active will lower stress and worry, and likely put off facility placement, for at least a while. Whether to keep a loved one at home or in a nursing home is a very personal choice. Most caregivers want to keep their loved one at home as long as possible; most individuals agree with this philosophy. But keeping a person at home isn’t always the best choice. Nursing homes are a needs-based service and there are very real reasons people need to be there. Moreover, nursing home placement may be necessary for the caregiver’s health. If you are the primary caregiver and someone you respect voices concerns about your health, you should listen with an open mind. Many caregivers are too close to a situation and do not view things rationally or objectively. It could damage their health. There are numerous senior service agencies around to help with the decision about nursing home placement. Get a list of options soon after you receive the Alzheimer’s diagnosis. This will help you be more comfortable, by planning and being more proactive, rather than being unprepared and uncertain during what could become a crisis situation. Dealing with a loved one with Alzheimer’s is a daunting task. There’s no need to tackle it alone, however. An excellent resource is “The Indispensable Alzheimer’s Resource Kit.” It can be downloaded at no cost by clicking here.
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You should start looking as soon as you are comfortable — realizing that it will almost always be difficult. Proper advance planning will help prevent or lessen a crisis situation later. Maybe you’ll never need the services of a nursing home, but it pays to be proactive and check them out anyway. Making decisions in crisis mode is much different than being able to plan ahead more calmly and thoughtfully. Local elder law firms, the Alzheimer’s Association, hospitals and other healthcare providers, the Area Agency on Aging and stage regulatory departments can be good sources for lists of facilities. When you visit a facility, take someone with you so you get more than one perspective. It also helps to have someone removed from the situation who can be more objective and might notice things that you don’t. Ask facility operators if they offer short-term respite care. That might be what you need to start with — or it might be the only thing you ever need. This can allow you a break if you get sick or need to go out of town, for example. If you have an unexpected situation that takes you out of the picture, you will have plans, and lowered the stress levels for you and everyone around you. Dealing with a loved one with Alzheimer’s is a daunting task. There’s no need to tackle it alone, however. An excellent resource is “The Indispensable Alzheimer’s Resource Kit.” It can be downloaded at no cost by clicking here.
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Alzheimer’s patients are often reluctant to leave familiar surroundings — and when you think about it, who isn’t? So don’t be surprised if this happens. An adult day center offers respite for the caregiver, not to mention activities and stimulation for the patient — and in a safe environment. Using a participant-friendly name for the center could make your loved one feel more comfortable. You might call it “the club,” for example. Others have had success calling it “school,” “work” or “volunteering.” You’ll know what will work best with your loved one, and whether certain techniques you have used in the past will be useful again. Perhaps saying, “This is your time to spend with your friends” or, “Please do this for me” will work well. Some caregivers advocate simply getting into the car and driving directly to the center. Answer questions along the way with positive answers such as, “It’s your day to go to the club” or, “We’re going to a fun place.” Often, someone with Alzheimer’s won’t remember being there before, but then also have some recognition that it’s a “safe” place with friendly people. If you still encounter resistance upon arrival, the center’s staff will be experienced in helping get your loved one into the center. Make your good-bye short and then leave! If the staff is properly trained, they should know how to take it from there, making your loved one feel welcome and loved. Get to know the staff well so both you and they feel comfortable. They’ll probably want to ask you questions in order to give your loved one the best care they can. You may call during the day to check on how your loved one is doing. Often, in fact, the staff encourages this. One key to success is to develop a consistent schedule. There will be various reasons for your loved one to miss a day, but the benefits to keeping a consistent routine far outweigh the urge to just drop in whenever you think “it’s about time for another visit.” Both you and your loved one (and, to some degree, the center’s staff) will benefit from consistent attendance. Participants often adjust well once they get into a routine and are familiar with it. Besides, this is something that your loved one might very well look forward to. Sharing time with people with like interests and/or backgrounds is usually a good way to spend time. Another way to overcome any complaints or objections from your loved one is to have someone who is NOT the primary caregiver take him or her to the center. This could be a friend, neighbor, someone from church, a family member or even a transportation service. The caregiver then will not be a “bad guy” while the person who will deliver your loved one will become a “hero,” especially at pick-up time (if the adjustment to the center still hasn’t gone smoothly). When your loved one arrives home, always try to put a positive spin on what happened during the day. Talk about any activity or menu items from the center. Ask how he or she felt about the experience. Even if there’s not much memory of what happened, stimulate conversation and reinforce good feelings. Stay focused on the positives and reassure your loved one that he or she will always be able to come home. Reassurance is crucial for dealing with feelings of insecurity. Sometimes caregivers hear that their loved one had a “bad day” at the center — from the loved one, but not the staff. The person might say that he or she never wants to go back. This is where you have to take control, with an adult version of “tough love.” If you feel the center is a good thing for your loved one, you should continue the routine of getting the person there. It takes positive reinforcement and persistence to find adjustments and make a routine work. Remember that because your loved one might be attending only part-time, it might take longer to adjust than if he or she were there for longer periods of time. If the center feels good to you, it is probably a good place. If your loved one complains but your gut is telling you something different, talk with the director of the center or a social worker and discuss the situation. If you still don’t feel comfortable after that, find another center! You are usually not locked in to many terms and you are able to come and go at a center without penalty. Another thing to consider is that some individuals with Alzheimer’s might become over stimulated if they are around a lot of other people, regardless of the environment. You must watch this carefully, too. In some instances, staying home with company or an attendant might be better than placing your loved one in a situation where he or she might be constantly over stimulated, with too many people around.
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This can be a complex task, not unlike finding a nursing home for a loved one. There is a matrix of criteria you’ll want to check and meet. One of the first is checking into your options BEFORE day center services are ever needed. This will help both you and your mother. You can find available adult day center lists from the local Area Agency on Aging or ARC. Winnow down your options by asking whether staff members are trained to work with people with Alzheimer’s. Once you find some you are considering, your first move should be to make an unannounced visit to one of them and ask for a full-facility tour. When this happens, observe whether participants at the center seem happy and content. Are they truly involved in an activity or just sitting around with a TV on? Television isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it shouldn’t just be a personality-free baby sitter. Activities could be created to use it for sing-alongs or discussions, for example. Look around and watch to see if the participants interact freely with one another. Try to learn if staff members encourage individuals to be as independent as possible. Next, learn what’s needed to be admitted. Each facility has its own policies. Typically, a physical from a doctor and a medical history must be given, as well as a TB test from the last 12 months, or a chest x-ray. Ask if the facility itself can do the TB test (and if there is a cost for it). Make sure you go through the admissions packet carefully with someone at the center. Ask about all policies and procedures and pay particularly close attention to anything concerning fees. Inquire as to billing policies — including whether they bill in advance or after the fact. How do they handle absences? If you think of additional questions, be sure to call back to get answers or clarifications. If you let some centers know you’d like assistance filling out papers, they’ll help you get it done. You’ll want to check out licensing issues. Some states require licenses for these operations. They should be posted and available upon request, including how many participants it can legally serve at one time. Find out if the center has been cited for deficiencies — and whether they’ve been corrected, of course. Inquire about the staff-to-client ratio. There should be at least one staff member for every eight participants with Alzheimer’s. Meet the facility director and staff and observe how they interact with everyone. Gauge whether they’re attentive to you and your needs. You should ask about the age of the facility, whether staff members are trained to work with Alzheimer’s and how wanderers are monitored. Here are some other questions to ask an adult day center you’re contemplating using: • Do you have a social worker on staff? Someone knowledgeable in assisting with resources, financial assistance, counseling, discharge planning, etc.? • What are the philosophy and goals of the center and its various leaders? • What are the direct staff members’ credentials? • What is the rate of employee turnover? • Is there a charge for late pick-up? • How long and frequently does a participant have to attend? • What are the emergency procedures? • How are meals prepared and what special diets can you accommodate? • What does a “typical” day’s routine consist of? • How involved can family members be at the center?
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